


Lies Your Servant Told You

by djiange



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Illustrations, Multi, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djiange/pseuds/djiange
Summary: Arthur Pendragon lived a life of lies, from his birth to his faith, from his family to his enemies.But there was this one person he could always trust.So when it turned out to be another joke on him, Arthur almost guffawed.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 96





	Lies Your Servant Told You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Merlin Fanart Compilation 2020](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217809) by [djiange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/djiange/pseuds/djiange). 



> This is an expansion of the caption in [Chapter 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217809/chapters/54229222). The art is attached at the end of this fic.

Arthur Pendragon lived a life of lies, from his birth to his faith, from his family to his enemies.

But there was this one person he could always trust.

So when it turned out to be another joke on him, Arthur almost guffawed.

-

Sometimes one had the epiphany hit them at the rather trivial instants in their life.

Arthur had always imagined it would be a perfect normal afternoon, sky high above Camelot and wind tender. He would look up from his sword and see something, or someone, and then he would know the meaning of duty, of a destined life.

His father didn't raised him to be a coward running away from problems, but the idea was reassuring as everything seemed to flood in too fast and he lost the sense of anything he could hold onto.

Arthur waited then.

-

It was the first time he got to know how the king's crown felt like on his head. Heavy for sure, and somewhat tight, like trapped in a grip. He wouldn't tell Merlin that, or the servant was definitely going to make some treasonous comment.

Later, after the door of Arthur's chambers shut the noises behind them, Merlin took off the crown for him and stared at it without his usual prattle.

"Fancy one for yourself?"

"Well, it's indeed some good gold. Probably too big for my head, though."

Arthur snorted. Should have known better the little shit would say it anyway.

He sank down in his chair as Merlin hang up his new cloak, petting the crest on it. Arthur traced the motion, and said, "You know, I used to think I would suddenly grow up and know it all as soon as I sat on the throne, but now I just feel more... uncertain."

"In what kind of sense?"

"I mean, I could always say I was acting as the king's proxy before. I was the crown prince, and that means I was only a subject of the king's like everyone else back then. Now, however, every decision, every order is on my own terms. The power-" Arthur paused to inhale. "the responsibility was almost unbearable."

"Hey," Merlin strode from the wardrobe. He knelt, putting one hand on Arthur's arm. "You don't have to do this alone."

"What? You will be there should I need help?"

"Sure, as I always do." Merlin asserted solemnly, his palm hot, eyes lit. "You are a great king and shall always be. The one true king for all. That's the way it has to be."

Arthur didn't ask how he knew, for some reason. The words echoed in the king's chambers, long drawn out, for both of them to hear loud and clear.

-

On the night of the Queen's coronation, Guinevere sat next to him on the throne, stroking his knuckles, fingers soft. He was satisfied to have her by his side; it felt certain and serene. Merlin was right after all.

Arthur recalled the other night when he asked Merlin about the coming wedding.

"That's what you've strived for all this time: to decide your own destiny, to marry the one you love. Don't let your cold feet get in the way, you daft git."

His smile was blinding, eyes half closed as he stretched his face into a broader grin. Arthur couldn't really see the blue around his pupils but the trembling sparkles in the darkness where the candle light didn't reach.

"You think Guinevere wants this too? To be my wife? The queen?"

"Or she wouldn't have said yes, would she? Are we playing some semantic game now?"

"I've been waiting for a..." Arthur trailed off, and waved his hand. "Is that really what you think?"

"Of course, what else were you expecting? And why are you asking me anyway? It really doesn't matter what I think." Merlin leaned against the edge of Arthur's desk, as if he was wearied by Arthur's utterly stupid queries. "You know your own heart best, Arthur. She is the one you've been waiting for. Just, just marry Gwen."

He did.

When he turned from his newly crowned queen and scanned the hall, Merlin was nowhere to be seen.

-

"What if Morgause had told the truth? Or at least part of it?" Arthur asked at dawn, as the dying white moon faded into the morning glow.

"What do you mean?" Merlin sat across from him at the other side of the campfire, not meeting his eyes, looking tentative.

"You heard what my father spoke for himself that time. He might not have hurt my mother with intention, but... what if he had sought help from magic and tricked by it?"

"Then he made a mistake." Merlin answered nonchalantly, gleam dancing on his shut eyelids. "There was nothing that couldn't be forgiven."

"He said 'never use the magic.' " Arthur shook his head. "He taught me that himself."

"He hadn't known it and he learnt the lesson."

"But what about all these indiscriminate executions that- I tried to save him with sorcery when sorcerers were dying owing to Camelot's law. What did that make me then? My doing was paralleling his mistake. I'm a hy-"

"They deserved it." Merlin interrupted him with a cracked sound, squeezing syllables between his teeth. "They are the wicked that need to be purged. 'Those who practice magic are evil and dangerous.' Your own words. And it has been proven right over and over again."

His head was bowed deep for a moment. The tension of his neck silenced Arthur, explosive agony suppressed by that one delicate line. When Merlin lifted his head again, under his lashes there were bits of stars quivering, and the veiled abyss calm as the dead.

"There can be no place for magic in Camelot, Arthur."

-

Sometimes one had the epiphany hit them at a belated confession, far too late for a redeemable life.

Merlin said they would talk about it later, after everything had settled. At this point Arthur didn't even understand what it was supposed to mean. Settled, with things all wrenched inside out, upside down.

Arthur was not sure this was what he had waited for.

-

He looked over his shoulder as Gwaine yelled.

Merlin lay not so far away from Morgana's body. Arthur's forsaken sister, another one of Merlin's own kin.

The renegades were slaughtered. The victory came a long way. And yet here they were, reeking of death, foul blood soaking into their marrow, tears and howls of the wronged souls burning them down to the hell beyond the very end of time.

He was born because of what he learned to despise.

He was convinced by what his conscience denied.

His family was tied by hatred, and the false name of love.

His enemies were whom he swore, under the sacred vow, to defend til his last breath.

There was no honour, no justice, no redemption, but Merlin withering in his arms, weighing like the whole world as well as nothing.

What, God forbid, kind of farce was this? How much of a damn clown was he? Paraded and fussed with glorious ignorance upon the stage of destiny.

Arthur laughed so hard.

"Don't cry, sire." Merlin said, hand on his arm, soothing him as normal. One of his eyes was swollen, the other piercing Arthur's soul with the melting gold.

"No man is worth your tears, remember? Look what we've got; you survived Camlann, and I fulfilled my destiny. I call it win-win at little cost."

Then Merlin smiled, like his usual self, like a carefree goofy ball.

Like a liar.

"It's alright. It's just Merlin."

**Author's Note:**

> The original idea of the drawing was simply meant to be some melodramatic gay angst, but I decided to make it “The queen, my lord, is dead” in this expansion.
> 
> This is a cautionary tale of a foolish king who never learned to see the truth and his “queen” who presumptuously paved the way (to the doom, eventually) for him, “told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”


End file.
